The Hobbit in Guardians of the Galaxy
by Quill Sparkle
Summary: Based on GOTG 2014 film and the 2012-14 Hobbit series. Bilbo Baggins is on another adventure, this time with a group of misfits: former Ravanger Peter Quill (or Star-Lord), Gamora, the adopted daughter of Thanos, Rocket the genetically modified raccoon, Groot, a talking/walking tree and the literal Drax.
1. GOTG: The Beginning

**Chapter 1: The beginning of this story had been re-edited, as well as chapter 2 and has been broken up into two chapters as opposed to one.**

 **Chapter 1**

On the abandoned planet of Morag, two figures came off the small M-ship that had landed on the barren planet's surface. Two men, one short and tall approached an orb that was heavily guarded by an unknown source. However, the shorter of the two men just stood by as the taller one took his strange device. They were watching the old memories of what appeared to be a girl playing with her dog. Also, there had been several workers there walking about in the old memory. The taller of the two men pinpointed where the object they were looking for was at. The taller man wanted to get it. Whatever it was, they wanted it very bad. It was mostly because the taller figure wanted to get the job done for his adoptive father, Yondu Udonta. However, the shorter one of the two wanted to do it for the adventure. As the two approached the cave nearby, the taller man's helmet dissolved, revealing to be an older Peter Quill. The shorter man of the two took down the hood of his own jacket.

"I hope you know what we're doing, Peter," said the shorter figure.

"Of course, I know what I'm doing, Bilbo," Peter said.

He fixed his red leather jacket that reached down to his heels. Bilbo was also fixing the hood of the Ravenger jacket he was also wearing, and had on his green vest on and short reddish-brown leggings. Bilbo watched as Peter put on his headphones and listened to the tape his mom had given him, an Awesome Mix Vol. 1 tape. Bilbo watched as he danced around crazy around the ruined room, rolling his eyes. Peter was also dancing around and holding rat like alien creatures, singing to the tape.

"Here, Bilbo, get on my back,"

"Why? I'm up to your shoulder," Bilbo said.

"So, I've carried heavier things," Peter said, with the headphones still on his ears. He let Bilbo climb onto his back as he floated over the chasm. The duo continued walking to where the orb was at. Peter took his device from earlier, trying to summon the Orb himself. Bilbo watched with his arms crossed as the Orb came to Peter's hand.

"Drop it!" shouted a dark-skinned man. Both the figures looked back. These figures were Bilbo Baggins, and Peter Quill (aka Star Lord).

"Uh...hey," Peter said, and was pushing Bilbo behind him. Recently, Peter and Bilbo had found each other nearly four months ago, and had become friends over the course of one of their adventures. Yondu knew of Bilbo's existence, but didn't know that the Hobbit was involved with Quill's schemes.

"Drop it, now!" Korath said.

"Hey, cool, man. No problem. No problem at all. " Peter said and dropped it on the ground.

"How do you know about this?"

" I don't even know what that is. We're just junkers, man, I was just checking stuff out."

" You two don't look like a junker. You're wearing Ravager garb! And your friend there," Korath said, looking at Bilbo's blue coat, brown pants and reaching up to Quill's shoulder. "No idea what he's garbed in."

"This is just an outfit, man," Quill said. "Ninja Turtle, you better stop poking me."

"What are your names?!" Korath shouted.

"I'm Peter Quill, and this is Bilbo, okay?" Peter said. "Dude, chill out."

"Move!" Korath yelled.

"Why?" Bilbo asked.

"Ronan may have questions for you," Korath said.

"Hey, you know what? There's another name you might know him by," Bilbo said. [Korath stops and turns back to look at Peter.

"Star-Lord." Peter said.

"Who?" Korath asked.

"Star-Lord, man. Legendary outlaw," Peter said.

"Move!" Korath shouted.

"Oh, forget this, Bilbo," Peter said and grabbed his guns, shooting at Korath and his henchmen. He grabbed onto Bilbo and picked up the orb Korath had dropped. He took his own gun as Korath opened up the cave with a shot.

"Oh, would you look at that," Bilbo said. Both he and Quill flew out with boots of Peter becoming rockets. They finally got onto the ship, both catching their breaths.

"Peter, we're going up!" Bilbo shouted and got to the seat and drove the Milano named after a woman named Alyssa Milano, also a woman that Peter had a crush on. Later, Bilbo and Peter were watching the news.

"Scattered riots broke out across the Kree Empire today protesting the recent peace treaty signed by the Kree Emperor and Xandar's Nova Prime," said the reporter. Suddenly, Bilbo accidentally touched the call screen. Peter quickly hid bilbo underneath the desk and put a finger on his mouth, causing Bilbo to go immediately silent.

"Quill?" said Yondu.

"Hey, Yondu." Peter said, but it was mutual as Yondu's ungrateful tone.

"I'm here on Morag," Yondu said. "Ain't no Orb, ain't no you."

"Well, I was in the neighborhood. I thought I'd save you the hassle," Peter said.

"Well, where are you at now, boy?"

"I feel really bad about this, but I'm not gonna tell you that."

"I slaved putting this deal together..."

"Slaved? Making a few calls is 'slaved'?"

"And now you're gonna rip me off!"

"I mean, really?"

"We do not do that to each other. We're Ravagers, we got a code."

"Yeah, and that code is "steal from everybody."

"When I picked you up on Terra, these boys of mine wanted to eat you. They ain't never tasted any Terran before. I stopped 'em. You're alive because of me! And so is that hobbit friend of yours! I will find you, I will..."

Peter didn't want to hear any more of what that man had to say and shut off the transmitter.

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Bilbo asked unsure.

"Well whatever the consequences are, Bilbo, I'll happily pay them." Peter said, looking at the screen and then at Bilbo. "We'll be at Xandar in a few minutes."

Peter got up and walked into the next room. Bilbo wasn't sure that was a very good idea.

Line division

Meanwhile, Yondu Udonta and his league of Ravengers on the planet of Morag, was infuriated by that boy's insolence. Immediately, Yondu turned with more of a burning glare coming from his red eyes.

"Put a bounty on him! Forty K," Yondu said to his second-in-command, Kraglin. "But I want him back alive."

"Yeah, Cap," Kraglin answered.

"Alive?" shouted the outraged Ravenger Horuz.

"That's what I said." Yondu answered.

"I told you when you picked that kid up, you should have delivered him like we was hired to do!" shouted Horuz. "He was cargo!"

"You have always been soft on him," Horuz shouted. Yondu was pissed and looked Horuz in the eyes while grabbing onto the front of his leather trench coat.

"You're the only one I'm being soft on!" Yondu shouted. "Now, don't you worry about Mr. Quill. As soon as we get him back here, I'm gonna kill him myself. And that hobbit is with him, Mr. Bilbo will regret the day he was born. What we do need to worry about is who else out there wants that Orb!

 **Line division**

"They call me 'terrorist,' 'radical,' 'zealot,' because I obey the ancient laws of my people," said a very dark and sinister voice. A blue man tall is talking, with his red eyes masked with a dark mask. He also had a hammer in hand. "The Kree, and punish those who do not. Because I do not forgive your people for taking the life of my father, and his father, and his father before him. A thousand years of war between us will not be forgotten!"

" You can't do this!" said a Xandarian prisoner. "Our government signed a peace treaty."

"My government knows no shame. You Xandarians and your culture are a disease."

" You will never rule Xandar."

" No. I will cure it!" yelled Ronan. He hit the prisoner's head, killing him in the process. Suddenly a woman with several prosthetics and blue skin entered the room. This was Nebula, one of the adopted daughters of the Mad Titan Thanos.

"Ronan, Korath has returned," Nebula said

Line division

"Master, he is a thief, an outlaw who calls himself Star-Lord and there was this weird creature with big furry feet with nothing covering him," Korath reported to his master. "But we have discovered they have an agreement to retrieve the orb for an intermediary known as The Broker."

"I promised Thanos I would retrieve the orb for him." Ronan said. "Only then will he destroy Xandar for me. Nebula, go to Xandar and get me the orb."

"It will be my honor." Nebula said.

"It will be your doom." Said a voice. From afar a woman with black/purple tied up and green skin emerged out of the darkness. Her name was Gamora. She approached her sister. "If this happens again, you'll be facing our father without his prize."

"I'm a daughter of Thanos, just like you." Nebula sneered at her sister.

"But I know Xandar." Gamora snapped.

"Ronan has already decreed that I..." Nebula began to attack back.

"Do not speak for me," Ronan said. He looked at Thanos' favored daughter. "You will not fail."

"Have I ever?" Gamora inquired.


	2. GOTG: The Kyln

**Chapter 2**

"Xandarians." Rocket scoffed, looking at them from afar with his binoculars, trying to look for something for him and Groot to turn in to cash. He was now lookin man with short blonde hair. "What a bunch of losers. All of them in a big hurry to get from something stupid to nothing at all. Pathetic. Look at this guy! Can you believe they call us criminals, when he's assaulting us with that haircut?"

He sees a nother kid, this time much younger.

"What is this thing? Look how it thinks it's so cool. It's not cool to get help! Walk by yourself, you little gargoyle!"

He looks and sees and sees an old man talking to a younger woman.

"Look at Mr. Smiles over here. Where's your wife, old man? What a class-A pervert." Rocket laughed. "Right, Groot? Groot?"

He looked and saw Groot drinking from a nearby water fountain.

"Don't drink fountain water, you idiot. That's disgusting!" Rocket yelled at him.

However, Groot immediately stopped pretending not to drink from it.

"Yes, you did. I just saw you doing it," Rocket said. "Why are you lying?"

He looked when his tablet made noises. The raccoon took the tablet and showed a human sighting of Peter and Bilbo conversing with one another.

"Whoop. Looks like we got one. Okay, humie, how bad does someone wanna find you?" Rocket mutters and looked through the tablet. "Forty thousand units?" Rocket said. He looked at his partner. "Groot, we're gonna be rich." When he looked back, Groot was still drinking from the water fountain.

Line division

"Hey, we had a deal, bro!" Yelled Peter. Bilbo was standing there. Apparently, when Peter mentioned the Accuser, the Broker tossed Peter out. He wanted his head as much as Peter wanted that deal with the Broker.

"Well, did it go well?" Bilbo asked sarcastically with Peter glaring at his burglar than at the orb. However, a green woman appeared out of nowhere, kicked Peter in the stomach and ran off with the orb.

"Wow, and I thought we were sleazy thieves," Peter said. He took out a magnetic rope around Gamora's feet. He was going to get the orb, but Gamora punched him again and again, ready to stab Peter.

"This wasn't part of the plan," Gamora said. Bilbo struggled looking for his laser gun. Rocket suddenly grabbed onto Gamora, struggling with her.

"Put him in the bag. Put him in the bag!" Rocket yelled at Groot. His best friend whent to grab Gamora. "No! Not her, him! Learn genders, man." They continued fighting. Gamora started biting Rocket. "Biting?" Rocket said. "That's not fair!" Peter grabs onto the orb as Rocket struggles to hold Gamora.

"Take it easy!" Rocket said. However, Gamora freed herself from the raccoon and attacked peter, trying to take the orb again. She pelted him down, and held Peter down.

"Fool," Gamora snapped. "You should have learned."

"I don't learn. One of my issues." Peter said. With his last strength, Peter grabbed the orb from Gamora and placed his rocket launchers on the woman, sending her flying off. Bilbo had to find Peter, but couldn't find him. When he looked up, there was a bag over Peter's head and the human was being carried off by a walking, talking tree.

"Oh, you're not taking my best friend away from me now," Bilbo muttered to himself, reaching for his gun that Peter had given him.

"Quit smiling, you idiot," Rocket said to Groot. "You're supposed to be a professional."\

"You gotta be kidding me, the raccoon said.

They turned seeing the Hobbit there with his gun out.

"Put him down," Bilbo shouted at them, the gun pointing at Peter's attempted kidnappers.

"Or else what?" Rocket said, while his buddy said, "I am Groot."

"O-or, I-I-I'll shoot!" Bilbo said.

He really didn't want to do this but if it was to save his friend, then the Hobbit would fire.

"Look, since you're so pathetically small, little man," Rocket said, with Bilbo giving him a death glare, as Rocket continued, "and have no experience of ever using a gun like that, put it down before someone like an idiot like you gets yourself hurt."

However, Bilbo didn't shoot. It was Gamora coming towards them.

"Move it," Gamora snapped. She pushed Bilbo out of the way causing him to drop his gun. He sat there scared as Gamora approached Groot and cut off Groot's arms. This caused the treelike creature to drop Peter. Gamora went to the sack that held Peter and made her move to take the Orb from him. However, Peter shot the gun he had carried and stunned Gamora. He took the orb from her and began running. Peter without thinking, ran to his best friend's side and grabbed Bilbo's hand. He couldn't keep up with the fellow Ravenger.

"Peter, slow down!" Bilbo shouted.

"No, I'm getting us out of here and finding somewhere to keep this thing," he said gesturing to the orb, "and us safe."

He put Bilbo over his shoulder.

"Peter!" Bilbo said over his friend's shoulder. "PUT ME DOWN!"

Rocket noticed the duo escaping. He took his rifle.

"I live for the simple things. Like how much this is gonna hurt," Rocket said. He shot his gun, electrically giving Peter a shock. He collapsed as Bilbo rolled off of Peter's back.

"Peter," Bilbo said, and crawled back to his best friend.

"Yeah. Writhe, little men," said Rocket back from afar. He looked at his companion who was upset over his arms.

"It'll grow back, you daft idiot. Quit whining."

Suddenly, Groot and Rocket were caught in a golden tractor beam and lifted off the ground.

"Subject 89P13, drop your weapon," the Nova Arresting Pilot demanded.

"Oh, crap," Rocket said, reluctantly dropping his weapon.

"By the authority of the Nova Corps, you are under arrest for endangerment to life and the destruction of property," the Nova Arresting Pilot said.

 **Later…**

The group stands before a police line-up. Bilbo wasn't really sure what he was going to do right now, but he and Peter did blame that raccoon, green woman and walking tree for him and Peter being arrested in the first place. From the outside, the group of policemen that found them earlier look out identifying each man (and the woman) lined up. Later, each individual was shown one by one to several Nova Corps specialists with Dey giving information about them.

"Gamora," Corpsman Dey began. They were looking at her. "Surgically modified and trained as a living weapon. The adopted daughter of the Mad Titan, Thanos. Recently, Thanos lent her and her sister Nebula out to Ronan, which leads us to believe that Thanos and Ronan are working together."

They looked at Rocket.

"Subject 89P13, calls itself Rocket, and the result of illegal genetic and cybernetic experiments on a lower life form. They call it Groot. A humanoid plant that's been traveling recently as 89P13's personal house plant slash muscle."

Then they looked at the Terran human.

"Peter Jason Quill, from Terra. Raised from youth by a band of mercenaries called the Ravagers, led by Yondu Udonta."

They looked at the short hobbit.

"And this Bilbo Baggins, called a hobbit and planet of origin, unknown. He's been an associate and friend of Quill four months ago."

"Transport all five to the Kyln," said the commander.


	3. GOTG: Drax the Destroyer

"I guess most of Nova Corps wanna uphold the laws, but these ones here, they're corrupt and cruel," said Rocket. He and the others were being escorted through the halls of the Kyln, a heavily armed fortress. By the minute, Bilbo wanted to slug him right this second.

"Hey, that's not my problem," Rocket continued. "I ain't gonna be here long. I've escaped twenty-two prisons, this one's no different. You're lucky the broad showed up, Quill, because otherwise, me and Groot would be collecting that bounty right now, and you'd be getting drawn and quartered by Yondu and those Ravagers.

"I've had a lot of folks try to kill me over the years," Quill said. "I ain't about to be brought down by a tree and a talking raccoon."

"What's a raccoon?" Rocket asked.

"What's a raccoon?" Quill quoted him. "It's what you are, stupid."

"Ain't nothing like me, except me," Rocket said.

"So, this orb has a real shiny blue suitcase, " Bilbo asked, "what is it?

"I am Groot."

"So, what? What's the orb?" Quill asked.

"I have no words for an honor less thief." Gamora fired at him.

"Pretty high and mighty coming from the lackey of a genocidal maniac," Rocket shot at her. "Yeah, I know who you are. Anyone who's anyone knows who you are."

"Yeah, we know who you are." Quill said. "Who is she?"

"I am Groot." was all the tree responded with.

"Yeah, you said that." Peter said.

"I wasn't retrieving the orb for Ronan, I was betraying him," Gamora said. "I had an agreement to sell it to a third party.

"I am Groot." was all the tree said.

"Well, that's just as fascinating as the first eighty-nine times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree, here?" Peter Quill asked.

"Well, he doesn't know talking good like me and you," Rocket says, "So his vocabulary list is limited to "l" and "am" and "Groot." Exclusively in that order."

"Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast. If I..." Peter stopped talking. one of the prison guards was playing with his Walkman, the same one his mother gave him. "Hey. Put that away," he shouted. The guard placed the headphones on his head. "You son of a..."

He went through the doors, with the blue prison guard glared at him.

"Hey! Listen to me, big blue bastard. Take those headphones off. That's mine, those belong to impound. That tape and that player is mine!"

The prison guard poked Peter with a stun rod, causing him to almost fall down.

" Hooked on a Feeling, Blue Swede, 1973," Peter shouted. "That song belongs to me!"

Bilbo and the others watched as Peter was tasered violently by that blue freak.

The group was dressed in prisoner gear which was usually just a yellow shirt showing people's arms and pants. However, Groot was the only ones not dressed in that garb because there were no clothes that fit him. The inmates didn't care about the four of them, but they did about Gamora. Most of them were throwing the stuff at her.

"You first! You first!" yelled the first inmate.

"Murderer!" yelled a second prisoner.

"Coming for you first, Gamora!" Prisoner 1 yelled again.

"You're dead!" yelled a third one.

"You're scum! You're scum!" yelled the fourth inmate.

"It's like I said, she's got a rep," Rocket said to the group. "A lot of prisoners here have lost their families to Ronan and his goons. She'll last a day, tops."

"Murderer!" yelled a fifth prisoner.

'The guards will protect her, right?' Bilbo asked, surprisingly worried for the woman who tried to kill him.

"They're here to stop us from getting out," the raccoon said, "Bilbo, is it? They don't care what we do to each other inside."

"Whatever nightmares the future holds, are dreams compared to what's behind me." said Gamora. They were suddenly encountered by a rather gross looking man who was a monstrous, looking at both Bilbo and Peter.

"Check out the new meat," said the monstrous inmate. "I'm gonna slather you and that little guy up in Gunavian jelly, and go to town."

However, Groot stuck his fingers up the man's nostrils and lifted him off the ground.

"Let's make something clear. This one here is our booty and the 'little guy' is off for grabs!" Rocket yelled. "You wanna get to any of them, you go through us! Or, more accurately, we go through you."

"Yeah, we're with them," said Peter and dragged Bilbo along. The other inmates continue to hurling abusive thoughts. However, Gamora did not let them bother her as she entered her cell as the door closes.

"No cell's gonna protect you for long," said a prisoner. Unaware to Gamora, someone else was watching her, and he did not look friendly and had an anger burning of passion.

 **LINE DIVISION**

Bilbo could not sleep. This place gave him the creeps. He still longed to be at Bag End, the place he called his home. Ever since his pirate adventure, Bilbo had not seen Thorin. Bilbo was only strange to this new world. Peter meanwhile was wide awake, hardly being able to sleep. He and Bilbo looked at each other as they heard the sound of people outside their sell. Bilbo immediately panicked when he saw Gamora was in their clutches. What made things worse was that a prison guard was with the prisoners.

"Take her down to the showers. It'll be easier to clean up the blood down there," the prison guard said. Over time, Peter and Bilbo developed a telepathic feeling between one another The duo nodded and got up. Groot was luckily sleeping down (while he should have been on guard. Unknown to Bilbo and Quill was Rocket was half-awake.

"Quill, Bilbo, where you going?" the raccoon asked. They were out the door already. "Quill! Bilbo!"

Rocket got up to follow them. Even though he disliked both of them, he didn't want either Quill or Bilbo dead. Mostly because, if Quill died doing a stunt like this, then there went the money. Mr. Raccoon was certain Bilbo couldn't handle anything on his own, just like he couldn't handle a gun, and only a sword. Below in the showers, the ruffians had Gamora cornered and knives pointed at her.

"Gamora, consider this a death sentence for your crimes against the galaxy," Moloka Dar, the leader said.

"You dare?" yelled a voice. The inmates immediately backed down when Drax came by. "You know who I am, yes?

"You're Drax, The Destroyer," answered Dar.

"Quill! Bilbo!" Rocket muttered to them, finally catching up to the man and the Hobbit.

"And you know why they call me this." Drax continued.

"You killed dozens of Ronan's minions," Dar answered.

"Ronan murdered my wife, Ovette, and my daughter, Camaria," Drax said. "He slaughtered them where they stood. And he laughed!"

"Quill? Bilbo?" Rocket said to them again, but they were busy watching the scene.

"Her life is not yours to take. He killed my family, I shall kill one of his in return," Drax said.

Bilbo wanted to go in there and strangle every last man so Gamora could go free, despite the fact she tried to kill him, Quill, Rocket and Groot. He got up but Peter dragged him back.

"No, Bilbo don't," Peter told his companion. "They'll beat you until your dust."

Bilbo reluctantly went back down.

"Of course, Drax. Here, I..." Dar said, and handed his knife to Drax. Unexpectedly, Gamora beat down the inmates that were holding her. She took their weapons and held them against Drax and Moloka Dar. Bilbo looked and saw Peter was going down there, even though the fool told him not to go down there.

"Peter/Quill! What are you doing?" Bilbo and Rocket said, but the man ignored them.

"I'm no family to Ronan or Thanos." Gamora said and dropped her knife. "I'm your only hope at stopping him. " Drax suddenly grabbed his enemy's daughter by her throat.

"Woman, your words mean nothing to me!" Drax said.

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey!" Peter said.

"Oh, crap." Rocket said to himself with Bilbo trailing behind.

"You know, if killing Ronan is truly your sole purpose, I don't think this is the best way to go about it," Peter said. Drax looked at Peter.

"Are you not the man this wench attempted to kill?" Drax asked.

"Well, I mean, she's hardly the first woman to try and do that to me." Peter said. He began showing Drax the wounds he received from multiple women. "Look, this is from a smoking-hot Rajak girl. Stabbed me with a fork. Didn't like me skipping out on her at sunrise." He showed the next one that was near his throat. "I got, right here, a Kree girl tried to rip out my thorax. She caught me with this skinny little A'askavariian who worked in Nova Records. I was trying to get information. You ever see an A'askavariian? They have tentacles and needles for teeth. If you think I'm seriously interested in that, then..." Drax gave him a cold look and Peter said. "You don't care. But here's the point. She betrayed Ronan, he's coming back for her. And when he does, that's when you..."

"Why would I put my finger on his throat?" Drax asked confused.

"What? Oh, that's a symbol," Peter said. He repeated his act. "This is a symbol for you slicing his throat."

"I would not slice his throat, I would cut his head clean off." Drax said.

"It's a general expression for you killing somebody," Peter said. He looked at Dar and repeated the act of killing someone. "You've heard of this. You've seen this, right? You know what that is."

"Yeah. Yeah." Dar answered nervously.

"Everyone knows," Peter said. As Drax looked at the conflicting man, Dar totally went a different direction and quickly said "no".

"What I'm saying is, you want to keep her alive. Don't do his work for him," Peter said. Drax looked at Gamora and Bilbo hoped silently the man would let go. The destroyer released her and began walking away, but stopped to look at Dar.

"I like your knife," Drax said to Dar, looking at the latter's (former) knife. "I'm keeping it."

"That was my favorite knife," Dar said and walked away. Gamora was going to her cell but Quill stopped her.

"Listen! I could care less whether you live or whether you die," Peter said rather coldly.

"Then why stop the big guy?" Gamora asked.

"Simple: You know where to sell my orb," Peter said.

"Peter, how are we gonna sell it when we and it are still here?" Bilbo asked.

"Well, our friend Rocket here has escaped twenty-two prisons," Peter said.

"Oh, we're getting out," Rocket said. To Peter: "And then we're headed straight to Yondu to retrieve your bounty."

"How much was your buyer willing to pay you for the orb, Miss Gamora?" Bilbo asked her.

"Four billion units." the woman answered. This shocked all three men.

"What?!" Rocket said.

"By the Gods of my home planet," Bilbo muttered.

"Holy shit." Quill said.

"That orb is my opportunity to get away from Thanos and Ronan," Gamora said. "If you free us, I'll lead you to the buyer directly and I'll split the profit between the four of us."

"I am Groot." said a voice behind Bilbo. The hobbit backed away from Groot.

"Five of us," Rocket corrected her. "Asleep for the danger, awake for the money, as per frickin' usual."

Groot let out a grunt and gave his best friend a pouting glare.


	4. GOTG: Reluctant Allies

The very next morning, Rocket began explaining his plan to Groot, Peter, Bilbo and Gamora. Bilbo hardly slept last night ever since the incident with Gamora nearly being killed by Moloka Darr. However, everyone was relieved that none of the inmates dare touch Gamora, as they knew from their incident with Drax the Destroyer. The group was only working together to get their share of money. After that, they would just separate and pretend their meetings or this mission ever happened. Rocket and Groot will go back to hunting people down, Peter and Bilbo would go back to stealing and hide from Yondu and their former Ravager clan, and Gamora would go back to killing. Whatever worked out for them.

"If we're gonna get out of here, we're gonna need to get into that watchtower," Rocket continued. He broke Bilbo out of his thoughts. "And to do that I'm gonna need a few things. The guards wear security bands to control their ins and outs. I need one."

"Leave it to me," Gamora said. The group of five past a man with a prosthetic, metal leg.

"That dude, there," Rocket said as they passed him. "I need his prosthetic leg."

"His leg?" Bilbo and Peter said unbelievably.

"Yeah," Rocket answered. God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him, he's useless.

"Alright." Peter said. They all sat down, minus Groot.

"And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. Do you see it?"

"I see it," Bilbo said, looking at the panel with the yellow light blinking back and forth (rather calmly, really). Peter looked and nodded when he spotted it.

"There's a quarnyx battery behind it. Purplish box, green wires." Rocket said.

"To get into that watchtower, I definitely need it," Rocket explained.

"How are we supposed to do that?" Gamora asked.

"Well, supposedly, these bald-bodies find you attractive," Rocket said. "So, maybe you can work out some sort of trade."

"You must be joking," Gamora sneered.

"No, I really heard they find you attractive," Rocket said.

"That is disgusting," Bilbo said.

Those men were old enough to be Gamora's father. Gamora looked at Bilbo, surprised but grateful they actually agreed about something and had an understanding.

"Look, it's twenty feet up in the air, and it's in the middle of the most heavily-guarded part of the prison." Peter said. " It's impossible to get up there without being seen.

"I got one plan, and that plan requires a frickin' quarnyx battery, so FIGURE IT OUT! Can I get back to it? Thanks."

Bilbo looked back and saw Groot grabbing onto the batteries as Rocket continued explaining his plan. The flora colossus threw something and knocked out one of the inmates. However, he didn't notice Drax was listening to their entire conversation and watching Groot take out the battery Rocket needed.

"Um, Rocket, " Bilbo began.

"Not now, Bilbo!" Rocket told him. "Now, this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode."

Bilbo looked back at Groot. The ent began pulling the battery from its springy wire.

"Once we have it, we gotta move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last," Rocket explained.

"Rocket!" Bilbo yelled.

"WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE-?!" Rocket began yelling. However, he looked back to see Groot yank out the battery as soon as the alarm went off.

"Or we could just get it first and improvise," Rocket said.

He glared back at Bilbo.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Rocket asked. Bilbo gave a frustrated sigh and followed Peter to where the man with the metal leg. Gamora rushed off to get the armband from the security guard. Rocket groaned and crawled up on Groot's shoulder as the drones the Guards controlled continued to attack Groot and Rocket.

"You idiot! How am I supposed to fight these things without my stuff?" Rocket shouted.

"The animal is in control!" the head prisoner guard shouted. "Fire on my command!

However, before they could fire, Drax knocked all of the guards up while laughing maniacally. He grabbed hold of one of the guns and shouted: "Creepy little beast!"

Rocket grabbed onto the gun, and felt like his old self again.

"Oh, yeah," Rocket said. He began firing at the guards while both he and Groot continued to scream.

Meanwhile, Peter and Bilbo had caught up with the man with the prosthetic leg and told him what they needed from him.

"You need my what?" he asked outraged with Peter just giving him a sly smile and a shrug.

Gamora continuously defeated all the men that had hurt her in the past. However, she only refrained from killing, because that was what the new her was: not killing anyone important. However, once she came across the prison guard who ordered the prisoners to "Do away with Gamora", she had her leg wrapped around his armband.

"I'll need this." Gamora said with a smirk on her face.

"Good luck," the Prison Guard said with a smirk. "It's internally wired."

"I'll figure something out," Gamora said and broke the man's arm.

Bilbo didn't think this moment could get any worse. However, things did when one of the guards (obviously terrified) tried to apprehend the Hobbit and the Terran. Peter used his newly-acquired prosthetic leg and used it to knock the guard out while also taking one of his guns.

"What about me?" Bilbo asked.

"Yeah, like I'm gonna trust you with a rifle," Peter said. Instead, he handed him a small pistol that he had found. Peter didn't know why he was in "over-protective" brother mode with Bilbo at this moment but it seemed to have grown on Peter that "babying" Bilbo was kind of fun. Meanwhile, Gamora had the armband in her hands and threw it at Rocket, while also shouting his name. Seeing their other reluctant teammates making their way to the watchtower, Peter and Bilbo made their way climbing on Groot's legs and back. One of the drones nearly got Bilbo but none other than Drax the Destroyer.

"You, Little Man and Friend who has lain with an A'askavariian!" Drax shouted. Peter and Bilbo rolled their eyes.

"It was one time, man," Peter muttered. Bilbo, Drax and Peter were on top of things with Rocket, Groot, and Gamora. They used the armband and opened the door. Groot used his vines and threw him out the tower. Gamora looked in terror as Drax came up next to her.

"Spare me your foul gaze, woman," Drax sneered. Gamora looked at Peter and Bilbo and pointed at him.

Gamora: Why is this one here?" Gamora asked.

Peter Quill: We promised him he could stay by your side until he kills your boss..." Peter said. "We always keep our promises, when they're to muscle-bound whack-jobs who will kill me if I don't. Here you go."

Peter laid the leg next to Rocket.

"Oh, I was just kidding about the leg," Rocket laughed. "I just need these two things."

"What?" Bilbo and Peter shouted.

"No, I...I thought it'd be funny," Rocket said. "Was it funny? No, wait, what did he look like hopping around?"

"We had to transfer him thirty thousand units!" Bilbo shouted. Rocket snickered. "You almost got us killed!"

"Look, I didn't mean ta..." Rocket said. "Just a joke...Come on Bilbo. Don't take things too seriously!"

Bilbo refrained from smacking that insufferable creature, but they more important things to do right now.

"How are we gonna leave?" Drax asked.

"Well, he's got a plan," Peter said. He looked at Rocket. "Right? Or is that another thing you made up?"

"I have a plan! I have a plan!" Rocket cried, still messing with the wiring.

"Cease your yammering and relieve us from this irksome confinement," Drax told Rocket

"Yeah, I'll have to agree with the walking thesaurus on that one," Peter said. Drax looked at him murderously.

Drax: Do not ever call me a thesaurus," Drax said.

Peter Quill: It's just a metaphor, dude," Peter said.

Rocket: His people are completely literal," Rocket told Peter. "metaphors are gonna go over his head."

"Nothing goes over my head," said Drax. "My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it."

Bilbo rolled his eyes.

"I'm gonna die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy," Gamora muttered, but looked to see Bilbo raising an eyebrow at her. "And a man who is not from this universe."

Bilbo and Peter looked down and saw that the men were gathering around with big guns pointing at them. The head riot guard began commanding his men to fire at the wall.

"Rocket, we are ready for your plan," Bilbo said in a panic.

"Hold on!" Rocket cried. Another fire hit them.

"I recognize this animal," Drax said. "We'd roast them over a flame pit as children. Their flesh was quite delicious."

"Not helping!" shouted Rocket, still messing with the controls. However, he successfully shut off the gravity, and their part of the ship was not enthralled in the artificial gravity.

"You turned off the artificial gravity," "everywhere but in here."

"I told you I had a plan," Rocket said. He activated the watchtower from its base and began flying it out of their prison by using the security droids. They managed to crash-land. Bilbo nearly fell over, but Gamora caught him roughly by the arm before he completely fell over.

"That was a pretty good plan," Peter said. Bilbo shook his head while Rocket gave him a questionably "seriously" look.


	5. GOTG: Come with me and Escape

**Update 2/2. I also wrote a crossover with Pirates of the Caribbean and I basically have Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield thrown into the plot. So, this is the unofficial sequel to that story. Don't have to read it first to understand this story.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **Guardians of the Galaxy**_ **or** _ **The Hobbit**_ **film series.**

 **Chapter 5: Come With Me And Escape**

" Yeah! There it is," Peter said, finally spotting the Milano. "Get my ship. It's the Milano, the orange and blue one over in the corner."

Bilbo looked and saw what he was talking about. Bilbo kept looking through the containment Rocket had found. He quickly grabbed onto his blue coat from Lake-town, his grey vest and brown leggings and red Ravager Jacket and handed Peter's stuff to him.

"They crumpled my pants up into a ball. That's rude! They folded yours," Rocket said. He searched for his Walkman among his stuff, but Peter couldn't find it.

"Peter, where's your Walkman?" Bilbo asked, looking over. He was currently putting on his blue coat then his short red leather jacket.

"I'm lookin'," Peter said. Gamora walked up to him and saw the Orb within it.

"The orb's there. Let's go!" Gamora said.

"Wait!" Bilbo and Peter shouted.

"What?" Gamora asked.

"That bastard didn't put it back," Peter said.

"Put what back?" Gamora demanded.

"Here." Peter said. "Get them to the ship, I will be right back."

Gamora: How are you gonna possibly..." Gamora asked confused.

"Just keep the Milano close by. Go," Peter said.

"Peter, I'm going with you," Bilbo said. Peter stopped his friend.

"No Bilbo, I'm not gonna put yourself at risk like that. Just stay with Gamora, Rocket, Groot, and Drax, alright?" Peter asked. Bilbo nodded. Gamora grabbed onto his arm and the bag.

"Come on," Gamora said. They began running to the Milano.

* * *

Meanwhile, Peter felt good to be back in his jeans, red leather jacket and his mask back on. He used his weapons (on stun) and began taking down each prison guard that stood in his way and did the one with the hurt neck a favor by knocking him out.

* * *

"Well, how's he gonna get to us?" Rocket asked.

"He declined to share that information with us," Gamora answered, and Bilbo nodded.

"Well, screw this, then!" Rocket cried. "I ain't waiting around for some humie with a death wish. You got the orb, right?"

"Yes," Gamora answered.

"Check the bag again, Gamora," Bilbo said. He was back in his old clothes again with his red jacket draped over the co-pilot seat. Knowing Peter, he wouldn't be so stupid as to let the orb stay in the belonging.

"What? Why?" Gamora asked. She began looking through and saw what Bilbo was talking about: the orb was gone.

* * *

Back in the Kyln, Peter had the orb. That way he wouldn't be. He began tossing it around and heard "Escape" playing. As soon as he came across the blue guard, he took his gun and hit the guard with the butt of his rifle, causing the guard to see nothing but blackness.

* * *

Back on the Milano, the group still remained where they were at.

"If we don't leave now, we will be blown to bits," Rocket said.

"No!" Gamora shouted. "We're not leaving without the orb."

"Or without Peter," Bilbo added. However, no one seemed to really care what Bilbo was thinking of. Drax, however, looked to see Peter was flying towards the ship

"Behold," Drax said. He and Gamora walked up to help Peter. He deactivated his mask.

"This one shows spirit. He shall make a keen ally in the battle against Ronan," Drax said. He looked to Peter. "Companion, what were you retrieving?"

Peter gave him the Walkman with his headphones still connected to them. Drax looked at Peter unbelievably. "You're an imbecile."

"Join the club," Bilbo said.

"What club?" Drax asked, looking down at the Hobbit.

"Oh, that's just an expression," Bilbo said. "It means that we understand each other though similar experiences."

"Quill has done this to you before?" Drax asked curiously. Bilbo nodded.

* * *

Rocket began humming to the music that he had heard earlier. Apparently, some of Peter's music was quite catchy. Bilbo and Peter walked in to see Rocket was beginning to take wires out of the Milano.

"Woah, who, who!" Peter shouted. "Yoh, Ranger Rick! What are you doing? You can't take apart my ship without asking me! See, what is this?"

He began to touch the device that was next to Rocket.

"Don't touch that, it's a bomb," Rocket warned him.

Peter Quill: A bomb?" Bilbo asked.

"Yep," Rocket answered.

"And you leave it lying around?" Peter asked.

"I was gonna put it in a box," Rocket said.

"What's a box gonna do?" Peter asked.

"How about this one?"

He nearly touched the present that Peter had been given by his mom, Meredith. Bilbo knew how much it meant to Peter so he quickly slammed the drawer with his bare, furry foot.

"Leave it alone!" Bilbo shouted.

"Why? What is it?" Rocket asked.

"Shut up," Peter sneered.

" Hey!"

"What is that?" Peter asked, pointing at another object on the ground.

"That's for if things get really hardcore. Or if you wanna blow up moons," Rocket said.

"No one's blowing up moons." Gamora said as she entered the room.

"You just wanna suck the joy out of everything," Rocket muttered.

"Nah, I agree with Gamora on this one," Bilbo said. "That's just askin' for more trouble."

"Well, it's nice that someone has a brain here," Gamora said, a small smile and looking softly towards Bilbo. Apparently, they'd finally reached a breaking point to trusting one another. However, Peter ruined their moment together.

"So, listen, I'm gonna need your buyer's coordinates," Peter said while near the ship's GPS.

"We're heading in the right direction, for now," Gamora said. She was playing with the orb in her hand.

"If we're gonna work together, you might want to try trusting me a little bit," Peter said.

"And how much do you trust me?" Gamora inquired. Peter took the Orb from her.

"I'd trust you a lot more if you told me what this was. Because I'm guessing it's some kind of weapon," Peter said.

"I don't know what it is," Gamora said as Peter put the orb on the table.

"If it's a weapon, we should use it against Ronan," Drax said, grabbing onto the orb.

"Put it down, you fool!" Gamora shouted. "You'll destroy us all."

"Or just you, murderess!"

"I let you live once, princess!"

"I am not a princess!"

"Hey!" Bilbo shouted. He got in between Drax and Gamora and the hobbit may be up to Gamora's shoulder and hardly reaching Drax's. It was worth them not killing each other and if they couldn't get to an agreement, but Bilbo would be able to squeeze out of them. "Nobody is killing anybody on this ship!"

"Yeah, we're stuck together until we get the money," Peter said.

Drax suddenly thrown the orb back to Quill.

"I have no interest in money," Drax said and walked away from the group.

"Great." Peter said sarcastically. "That means more money for the three of us. For the four of us. Partners.

"We have an agreement," Gamora said, "but I would never be partners with the likes of you. I'll tell the buyer we're on our way." She went to the steps and then stopped and looked at Bilbo and Quill. "And Bilbo, Quill, your ship is filthy."

"Actually, this is his," Bilbo said.

Gamora shot Bilbo a "seriously" look and then a look at Peter accusingly and then went up the steps.

"Oh, she has no idea," peter muttered to Bilbo. "If I had a black light, the place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting."

Rocket looked at Quill as if he was crazy.

"You got issues, Quill," Rocket muttered.

* * *

On Xandar, Yondu Udonta and his first Mate, Kraglin Obfonteri were now in the Broker's shop, the one Quill and Bilbo had been to earlier. The broker wasn't sure if he should have even let Yondu in the shop or not, but Udonta was one terrifying Adversary.

"Do you got any other cute little buggers like this one?" Yondu asked the Broker. He looked at a blue frog-like figurine that was standing in the window. "I like to stick 'em all in a row on my control console."

"I can't tell if you're joking or not," the Broker said.

"He's being fully serious," Kraglin said.

"In that case, I can show you..." he began.

"But first, you gonna tell me what this orb is, and why everybody cares so damn much about it," Yondu said, growing serious. "And then you gonna tell me, who out there might wanna buy it."

"Sir, the high-end community is a..."

Yondu spoke in a strange language.

"The high-end community is a..."

He spoke in the language again.

"It's a tight-knit...The high-end community is a very tight-knit."

Yondu had enough.

"I cannot possibly betray the confidentiality of my buyers!" he cried.

Yondu wasn't in a mood for games. He just wanted to find that kid of his and that Bilbo Baggins (if he were accompanying Peter). He called on his arrow, which escaped from its holster. The arrow flew towards the Broker, in between his eyes. Yondu laughed, but then he grew serious again.

"Now, who again is this buyer of yours?" Yondu asked again.

* * *

Meanwhile, on Knowhere, the Collector (who was a very busy man dressed in the finest clothes and had white gloves) had his gloves brush against the objects he strolled by. He came to his assistant, Carina, who was cleaning another cage of his.

"Carina." the Collector said.

"Yes, Master." Carina said quietly.

"Your people do have elbows, do they not?"

"We do, Master.

"Then use them. I don't have to remind you what happened to the last attendant who disappointed me. Do I?" the Collector asked. Carina looked at the Krylorian woman who was the Collector's last slave, was tied back in chains and wires.

"Chop, chop. Our guests will be here soon," the Collector told her.


End file.
